INTRODUCTION

The Story

On November 15,  I had a problem-solving interview with a friend, Anne, who is an office administrator.
Anne divulged that she had been under a lot of personal and work stress, much of it related to several “tragedies” which had occurred in the past 6 months.  She has been experiencing anxiety attacks with symptoms of blackouts, sleeplessness, and memory problems.

As a result of this stress, she has found that her attitude and behaviour at work has been changing.  She is no longer as easy-going.  She is finding that the little things that she used to deal with daily are now overwhelming and is frustrated by her staff’s inability to take responsibility for their own work.  Her position entails supervising quite a few people, and a particular group of three employees have been struggling with personality clashes and work-related issues.  Anne has normally stepped in to “fix” the work problems and smooth out personality clashes, but now finds that she doesn’t have the patience.  She would like them to “act like adults” and deal with their problems themselves.

In the past, Anne has been called back from vacations to deal with “forest fires”, and finds she cannot even take a day off without being called at home to solve everyday-type problems.  Anne has expressed that she has very high work ethics and personal expectations, and is concerned that others in the office do not share these.  In addition, with workers belonging to a strong union, she finds her hands are tied for motivating her employees, yet she feels that the work is not equitable.

Basically, Anne is trying to deal with a number of work issues, particularly related to the office culture, which has been accepted as the norm but which she would now like to change.  This problem seems magnified by her personal issues and anxiety.  She is dealing with a doctor for the anxiety issue, and I did not feel qualified to delve into this area, so I chose to keep the discussion centered on the work issues.

The following analysis includes a 10-minute transcript of our conversation, followed by an examination of the problem solving strategy and the communication skills.  The problem solving and communication sections are sub-divided into description, evaluation, and recommendations.  In the transcript, Anne’s comments as the client are odd-numbered, mine, as the helper, are even-numbered. Following each of the helper statements is an annotation that gives the purpose, an evaluation, and recommendations.

INTERVIEW EXCERPTS
 

13. No .. I think when she told me that … it … it didn’t sink in right away.  I have to go back and talk to her.  It didn’t sink in.  She gave me some vitamins to try and she .. she believes in vitamins rather than prescription drugs, so I’ve been trying that .. those have helped .. I’ve been sleeping better and I’m finding that I’ve been able to get my memory back … I’m not forgetting things, but no she has not really told me what I need to do, so I have to go to visit her to get some help with that as well.  But I just think it’s things that I should be able to do in order to … I mean that’s one of the reasons why this course came at an ideal time for me because of the problem-solving techniques and things that I’m learning in this course.  But the difficult part is for my staff.  This is just a new thing for them because before I always have been so understanding and easy going and in most cases take the problem and fix it myself.  And so it’s a big change for them.  So I guess for me it’s how to deal with them so that they know that I’m serious … that I want some changes made here.  I want my decisions to be respected and not that next week they’ll do it again because uh well Anne will be OK with it.  So I think it’s how I need to deal with the people I’m working with to make them see that I want to make these changes and that they have to buy into it and that they have to make an effort to do something about it.

14. So you have always just accepted things and fixed things as they come up

I was attempting to paraphrase and summarize what I thought was the main information that had come up in our discussion to this point.  I didn’t want to delve into the medical aspects, although I did ask whether her doctor had given her any tools.    I was, in this paraphrase, trying to clarify my understanding and give a focus to the discussion that I felt comfortable dealing with.  I was happy that I did this, as I managed to center on the work aspect, and Anne seemed more comfortable discussing this part.

15. Right

16. But you are sort of feeling right now that you have enough to take care of in your life and you would like them to help to take control and deal with the things they can

This was an attempt at basic empathy, actually leading into an advanced empathy statement.  I was trying to confirm her feeling of being overwhelmed (though I did not name it) and was looking at the content of what had been said to this point.  I did not use the “formula”, but found that this format came quite naturally and was satisfied with its use.  Anne then confirmed that I was on track, but my comment was not yet finished…

17. Yeah

18. Have you looked at how you have been dealing with the people and getting them to take responsibility for it?

This is the advanced part of the empathy statement.  I had looked at the content of what she had said and interpreted her feelings, but I felt there was a greater reason for her needing to be in charge.  My hunch was that, with her work ethic and expectations as discussed earlier and again later in the interview, that she felt she was the only one who could really deal with these issues properly.  Anne had high expectations of herself and others, and the others had not been living up to them.  In order to do something right, she felt she was better to do it herself, or at least guide the process.  I feel that I was on track, and, by her next comment, that Anne was in the process of recognizing this herself.

19. Well they, you know, the other things is that I have so many different personalities … personalities and they don’t always mesh these personalities so I’m always sort of the mediator between them to keep the peace between them…their personalities are so different.  And so I know that this solution works with one person, and with somebody else you have to do something differently.  And so I’ve been doing that over the years, but I’m just getting to a point where I think…. I don’t want to spend that much effort.  I don’t want to be spending my effort trying to resolve problems that I think are not significant problems.  They are problems that I think …they are adults…they should be able to be dealing with these things and handle them themselves…and taking care of them themselves.

20. And so you think will they never learn.. that you keep going over the same things over and over again

This was an attempt to paraphrase to clarify my understanding of what Anne was saying and to let her know that I understood her.

21. Yep.. right

22. Are these things that are specific to one position, or are they sort of team efforts?

This was a probe to get some background information.  Unfortunately it was asked in the form of a closed- ended question, not usually conducive to bringing about more discussion.  However, in Anne’s case she was willing to expand, so this did not really pose a problem or inhibit the discussion.

23. Um .. the problem is that we really have to work as a team here because we are a small .. we manage everything that is done in the main office we do in this small office with the staff that we have so we need to work as a team.  And I think that’s one of the big problems because the personalities are so different that .. and the other problem is that people have been here for so long that they just think the university owes them …that everybody owes them something so that behaviour should be acceptable because well they’ve been here for so long so they don’t … when they don’t work together it affects all of us.  And everybody is angry but they won’t talk to each other.  They come to me and I have to be the mediator.  I want to say well you guys have to deal with it and if you can’t come to a solution then I will get involved.  But they are just so used to coming to me to settle everything.

24. So do you find that they are not even trying to deal with it with each other?

Again, this was a closed- ended probe looking for background information and trying to clarify my understanding.  In this case, a closed question was appropriate, and my understanding was confirmed.

25. No.. they are not.

26. Pause …That must be really frustrating to have to deal with everyone’s problems all the time ..

This was basic empathy, dealing with her feeling and the content of what she had said.  It was bordering on sympathy in the way I was feeling, but I tried to keep that out of it.  I believe that my tone and facial expressions also let Anne see that I could relate to how she was feeling.   This also let her know that I was attending carefully to her.

27. Yeah it is especially when I’m finding at this time in my life I have enough of my own problems.

28. Uh huh

Here I was attending while trying not to interrupt her train of thought.

29. I don’t need to … I mean an example is I can’t even go away for one day.  I mean the other problem is I haven’t had a decent holiday.  I had a week off this summer, and I’m taking a day here and there to use my vacation days.  I mean I go to the main office a couple of weeks ago meeting with my boss and I wasn’t there for 10 minutes and they were calling me from my office and my boss said to me “can’t you ever go away from the office”.  It’s not just that they can’t deal with the problems and they won’t … I come back and I’m putting out forest fires for the first day or two that I’m back.  I’m fixing all the things that went wrong … and you know I’m always defending my staff .. Um always when people call with problems that happened always when I’m gone … their behaviour … I mean I can hear a lot from my office, and so when I hear what I think is not appropriate behaviour with a customer, I will walk out and the way they’re being with this person..

30. Changes..

Oops!!  Interrupting and finishing her sentence for her while she was still thinking.  A bad thing to do in any conversation.  Luckily I did not make her lose her train of thought and the conversation continued.
 

31. …Changes immediately when I walk out, so when I hear that behaviour is happening and I’m getting complaints from students and other staff.  So I’m spending the first day I’m back dealing with this – you know trying to clean this stuff all up instead of getting caught up on the work that has built with my own being away.

32. So you end up feeling responsible for everyone’s work on top of your own ..

This was an attempt to paraphrase and demonstrate basic empathy.  I was trying to show empathy and summarize what she had said to that point.

33. Exactly!

34. So your load gets heavier…

…A continuation of my paraphrasing and summarizing.  Anne had confirmed that I understood her point and I feel she felt comfortable to go on and let out some of her more disturbing feelings…ones that she is not comfortable with.  I feel she has a tendency to want to defend her staff, but has doubts about a lot of what they do herself.

35. Exactly.. and my first instinct whenever I get a call is to defend my staff, and then talk to them and find out what happened, because in some cases they aren’t in the wrong.  In some cases it is that they were misunderstood  or whatever, but in a lot of cases it was something that they could have dealt with or taken care of.  But they won’t.  They want the autonomy, but they don’t want to take the responsibility

36. Hmm

Attending, without interrupting …
 

37. To get that autonomy.

38. So what kind of socialization or training do they have?  They’ve been here for a long time and are used to it being one way.  Do they have any sort of training in between to keep them learning, to learn new ways?

Here I was using an open-ended probe in order to obtain some background information.  Instead of leaving it to the question, I attempted to explain why I was asking it.  I finished off my statement with a closed-ended question.  She may have been confused as to what to answer, the way it was worded.  I should have just stuck to my initial question and if she did not understand that, I could have clarified it later.

39. Um…yeah, they do.  They have … that’s the other thing too.  They always complain about not having enough training, and then when I bring somebody in and I make all the arrangements to cover the office, they end up with reasons why they can’t make it or they can’t do it .. you know something always goes wrong so we’ve got to a point where people don’t even want to come here and do the training because our group is never big enough so I mean I think …

40. So the training is not mandatory …

This was a paraphrase to confirm my understanding about the training, and in letting Anne hear for herself what she had said, it also served to let her realize there was another problem.  If she did not make the training mandatory, I did not see how she could convince these people to attend.  She had to see this for herself before she could address it.

41. No and I think that’s another one of the problems .. the training should be made mandatory to them.  And I’ve been trying to do that.  In some cases I would say I’m expecting this of you, this is when you will go and I expect you to be there.  And you see, that tends to work … it’s almost like  you know if I get really strict and I put down the rules, then they listen and they do what is asked of them, but that’s not my personality to be like that.

42. No, but you have a lot of responsibility in your position, obviously.  You take a lot on yourself, but your position has a lot of responsibility too.

Here I was trying to clarify my understanding of her role.  I understood that she felt responsible for all these activities, but I was not sure what kind of responsibility her position actually held.  In this case I was not clear in what I was trying to find out, and later found myself digging again as to what her position was actually responsible for.  In fact, all I got was confirmation that she felt she had all this responsibility, and that her position had some too, with no specifics.  I should have asked what kind of authority she actually had over these positions, and what she was accountable for.

43. Right

44. Which means people then have to listen to you that way

Because I was not yet clear on the authority of her position, I was still indirectly trying to clarify her role and determine whether or not she had the authority to get these people to follow her direction in areas other than those already specified.

45. Right

46. Um   Have you given them some sort of guidance as to what you expect from them … when you’re solving problems with them do you just sort of take it and do it?

In assuming that she was indeed the authority figure, and had the ability to enforce training and interpret procedure, I then asked a probing background question to find out what she had indeed done in this area.  Unfortunately, again I asked a closed-ended question which could have led to a lesser answer than I wanted.  I should have instead phrased it as an open-ended question, asking what kind of guidance she had given them, or asking her what information was available to them which would make it clear what the expectations were.

47. In most cases I try to go through the steps of how to solve the problem and they have so much responsibility, and they have a time to get back to me to see how it’s going.  And as long as I’m on that all the time it runs smoothly, but you know sometimes if I’ve got a couple of people who are constantly late for work, so we’ll deal with it and you know for a week attendance will be perfect, they’ll be here every day on time, and then one day they’ll be late, and then you know, maybe two days, and then pretty soon they are late every day and pretty soon we’ve got to come back in and do it all over again.  My feeling is that we’ve gone through this a hundred times … we shouldn’t have to do this … you know what your responsibilities are …

48. And what are the repercussions for something like that?

This was a better example of a probing open-ended question.  I was looking for background information.

49. Well, the problem is that they have a really strong union, so the repercussions … I mean that’s the other problem … they know that there is not very many … I mean personality-wise, their personalities I cannot evaluate people on their personalities.  And the same thing with the being late – I mean when they are good … and they’ll always a month or two before assessment time their behaviour will be perfect.  And I mean … I told them this year I am not using the last couple of months in my memory of how I will do your assessment.  From now on when I call you into my office to talk to you about an issue I will send you something in writing and it will go in my file and at the end of the year when it is assessment time I will bring out that file and I will deal with it all along because of the problem that they are good for a while

50. Uh huh

Here I was attending so that she knew I was following her, however I was careful not to interrupt.

51. And they are so inconsistent.

52. So you have already taken steps then to make them aware that things are going to be different

This was a paraphrase in an attempt to summarize the main portion of what she had said.  It proved to be accurate.  At this stage, I felt we had defined the problem, which had a number of related elements, and I wanted to move to transition.  I wanted her to know that I understood what she was concerned with and wanted to move into identifying some options, so I considered this a good area to move on from.

53. Yeah

54. The way I see the problem is that you have a lot on your plate as it is…

I was in the problem-solving mode attempting to summarize the problem so that we could settle on a definition.

55. Right
56. And you don’t want to be responsible for everything, but you are finding that they won’t take responsibility for themselves…

Still problem-solving and summarizing the problem definition.  In addition I wanted to make sure I was clear on her future expectations.

57. Right

58. So what I see that I think you see that you need to do is to try and get them to take responsibility and behave in the matter that is expected of anyone in a job

I was working on the transition stage of getting her to consider and evaluate some of her alternatives.  I was attempting still to paraphrase, but in fact this could have been interpreted as advising.  It was not worded well, though I tried to change the flow of it partway through.  It would have been better if I continued summarizing without putting in my opinion of what I saw.  In inserting my opinion I would appear to be taking sides.

59. Right.  But how do I … I guess my problem is how to make sure that that is happening all the time.  I expect here that people that work here have been here for a long time, they are adults, they are mature , that I shouldn’t have to be doing this all the time

60. No

Here I was attending with her and agreeing with her.  In fact, this could also be interpreted as me taking sides.

61. The reason why I have them here is that they are trained, they know their jobs and they  … all I should be here is someone to help them when they’ve reached a point where they can’t go further – I shouldn’t be here as .. um… I don’t want to be a day to day supervisor.  (pause)

62. Always having to look over they shoulder all the time.

Here Anne took a pause, and I was attending by responding and paraphrasing to let her know that I understood
.
63. That’s right.

64. I think when you look at … we look at people the way we are and we think that everyone should have the common sense and things.  But common sense isn’t really common to everybody depending on their background and things.

Anne seemed a bit distressed here.  It was obvious that she took this problem very seriously and it was overwhelming to her.  She did appear to tear up a couple of times during the interview, though she was able to control it.  Here I felt the need to share and let her know that I understood how she felt.  I often feel the same way as she was expressing – why does it have to be so difficult – you expect work ethic to be common sense and human nature, and it is so disappointing when it doesn’t turn out that way.  I almost found myself sympathizing and was ready to  advise, but managed to catch myself.

65. Uh huh

66. Um have you looked at all the different personalities, and thought about all the different areas that do need to be addressed with each of them?

In trying to get away from the sympathizing, I asked a probing question to help us move on with generating the alternatives and carry on with the transition in the problem-solving model.  Once again I appear to have asked a closed question which could have been answered by yes or no.  I should have asked Anne how she had looked at the personalities and what options she had come up with to address each different one.

67. Yeah, I have and I think that is probably the other thing that I have to deal with too is my work ethics.. I mean I just expect everybody should have the same work ethics as I do and not everybody does and … but then again I find that there is such an inconsistency because they are all on the same job classification, they all get paid the same amount of money but I have one person who pulls a really big workload, and then another person who does just what they need to to get by. And I don’t think that’s fair because I have no way to reward the other person because you know they are in a union so you can’t give them bonuses.  They’ve got to be paid by whatever the scale um.. so really the only benefit I can give them is more work by giving them special projects.

68. Uh huh.  And how do you distribute the workload then so that one person gets that much more and one person gets less?

When it became clear that the it was not only her expectations that were not being met, but that it also concerned the equitable distribution of work, I asked a probe to get background information and attempt to generate new ideas.  I had an idea by this point, but was holding back on giving my advice.  I knew that she would buy into any idea more if she generated it herself, and Anne was the one who knew what the major issues were.  In this case my probe was open-ended and was satisfactory to generate some thought and discussion.

69. Well what happens is it depends on how many students walk through the door and who takes the initiative

70. Uh hmm

Here I was attending …

71. to attend to the student when they come in so if there’s three people working in front you might have one that is always the first one up and taking care of the student so the other two will just sit and wait because someone else is doing it or else you’ve got to go in and say you know it’s busy in the front end – move out into the front end.

72. So what kind of options do you have then?  If you look at the issue, you’ve got people who … one person who’s carrying more load than the others, but they are all there at the same time

We had jumped back to the problem definition to add another related sector, so again I was summarizing and trying to keep Anne generating options that we would later sort through and prioritize.  I wanted to make sure she had some options that addressed the various areas of her problem so that she could then determine what was the most important and be able to see a bigger picture.

73. Uh huh

74. You’ve got people who are late.  You’ve already decided that you will start monitoring in writing

Again, paraphrasing to summarize the problem and some of the options we had already considered …

75. Uh huh

76. And keeping track of that for their assessments.  That should give them some idea.  But what other options do you have so that you can make the work more equitable, because you don’t have the option of the reward.

Still summarizing to see where we were at.  But I still did not feel she had addressed options which took into account all the factors of the problem she had discussed.  In fact, looking at it the common denominator which was present in all had to do with personality, workload distribution and acceptance of responsibility.  I asked an open-ended, leading probe so that I could get Anne to address that area.

77. I mean I guess what I could do,  I mean it would start with me having to do really one-on-one supervising again, but I guess I could make a schedule and make sure you know they rotate for who is the first person out to take care of the students, and for that week that is their responsibility. So I don’t care, whether your … I mean if your phone rings, it shouldn’t ring – it should be on call forward and you should be .. your main duty for that week would be taking care of the students and then we might be able to get it consistent that way.
 

ANALYSIS

Introduction

This analysis of the transcript will center on the use and effectiveness of my problem solving model and communication skills, with specific focus on the use of basic and advanced empathy.

My model follows the four-segment system of Problem Identification, Generating Alternatives to Reach the Desired State, Evaluating Alternatives, and Choosing and Implementation.

I see my personal problem solving model as being similar to an hourglass shape.  I liked the idea of widening out when considering all the information, and narrowing down as the scope became clear and focal point was set.   I initially had a problem with this model.  The format did not allow for decision interruptions and reversing the process, but I have recreated it in my mind so that I can just turn the hourglass upside-down for a few moments to reverse the process and reconsider options which were missed earlier.  With this vision in mind, I was able to follow this problem-solving model quite effectively.
 
 

PROBLEM SOLVING MODEL

Problem Identification

As appears to be common, the problem identification stage consisted of a lot of talking from the client (Anne) and a lot of listening and interpretation by the helper (me).  During the entire conversation our postures were relaxed.  I feel we followed Egan’s SOLER very naturally.  We were facing each other squarely, our postures were open and we leaned towards each other.  Eye contact was maintained almost all the time – a couple of times when Anne felt emotional she turned her head away.  I did not avert my eyes, but tried to remain relaxed and bring her back to ease.  I felt we had a bond of respect and trust which was built in the last conversation we had.  Anne was now familiar with my HR background and I felt she was confident in discussing this problem with me.

As Anne explained her problem I was careful in attending without interrupting.  I responded with acknowledgement sounds (Uh huh …) and also inserted some basic empathy.  I did not find that I used the formula, but did put across an understanding of her feelings as interpreted from the content of her statements (things that didn’t used to frustrate you as much are causing you more frustration, things you used to be able to deal with?).

Anne, in discussing her problem, got into some medical issues which I did not feel comfortable broaching.  She had already discussed some of them with her doctor, but was not yet satisfied with what she came out with.  While I was not prepared to tackle this issue, I did not feel I could challenge the problem without acknowledging it.   I did ask a few vague background questions but then we steered the conversation to an area which was more in our depth -–the way the problems were carrying over to her work.

I was then able to use some empathy, while following my gut feelings.  I had a hunch, from what I had learned about Anne previously, and from what I had heard so far, that she was a perfectionist.  She has a high work ethic, and it appeared to me that she felt it was easier to do something herself than to explain it to someone else and risk having it done wrong.  While she wanted to delegate, the trust was not there.  I felt that this was key to the issue, and while we did identify her problem in segments, I did not identify this for her.    I did attempt to have her come that that conclusion herself by asking if she had looked at how she had been dealing with people and getting them to assume responsibility.

We did spend a long time in the problem identification stage, with me asking a lot of background questions, and using basic empathy (That must be really frustrating to have to deal with everyone’s problems all the time).  I felt this time spent helped Anne vent some of her feelings of frustration, and helped us find a focal point from her multi-dimensional problem.  By line 53 I felt we had spent enough time on defining the problem, so I took steps to summarize and focus and worked towards transition.

Generating Alternatives to Reach Desired State

As I worked at the transition into alternative generation we reverted a bit back into the problem.  I felt the need to share my feelings with Anne and let her know that I understood what she was feeling.  I was borderline sympathizing, but she appeared distressed and I wanted to keep her thinking ahead at how things could be better.  Once again I moved to generating alternatives by asking open-ended probing questions which led to thought and discussion about areas she needed to address.  I had a lot of ideas in mind, but wanted her to generate her own so that she would have ownership for them.  I didn’t want to have to get her to buy into my ideas, though I may have used some leading open-ended questions to focus on certain areas.  Because the work issue had a number of relating segments, generating alternatives took quite a bit of time.  I spent a good deal of time summarizing segments of the problem so that Anne could find alternatives that addressed them.  At this point, we were considering all alternatives, without worrying about feasibility or priorities.    When I felt that an alternative brought up another potential problem, I would probe further so that Anne could consider other things that may arise from her actions, but I was again very careful not to advise.

By line 99 we had a number of options available, so many I really needed a paper.  I attempted to summarize them, again pegging them to their relevant segment of the problem.  This was very effective as Anne was able to grasp one that I had missed.  This was confirmation that she was indeed giving careful thought to them, and had ownership for them (“…and procedures, don’t forget procedures”).  As this section of the discussion moved to transition, the mood had lightened considerably and I made an observation which was probably a rhetorical question and sounded a bit like a joke.  In fact, it caused Anne to laugh and I knew that we had moved on past the emotional part of the discussion.  I then attempted to move us to the evaluation of the alternatives.

Evaluation of Alternatives

I was commenting on how busy and stressed Anne was already, and now here she had this huge list of possibilities, all of which seemed viable.  In transition to the evaluation of alternatives, I asked her to prioritize them.  Anne needed to see what the results of each alternative would be so that she could consider which would reduce her load the most initially before she had to tackle others.  She started taking the time to see the bigger picture and see what would give the best results with the least effort on her part to start with until she felt she could deal with some of her personal issues.  I did use some advanced empathy when she again started talking about people bringing things from their life into work – she still felt distressed by what was happening outside, and I had a hunch that the others were not aware of all these factors which were affecting her mood.  She started tearing up again and I realized I had hit a chord.

Anne was again encountering feelings which I was not equipped to deal with.  At this point I used basic empathy (you’re feeling pretty overwhelmed) and I began sharing something personal so she did not feel so alone in it.  I did advise that she make sure she find some time to see the doctor for some additional coping tools or strategies and deal with her personal issues.  Anne then continued the discussion by setting her priorities so that the first things that would result would be her ability to take time off to deal with her issues without having to be called in all the time.

Choosing and Implementing

At this point Anne had set some priorities and was already in the action planning mode.  She had already determined what she wanted to do first and was setting the stage for the when and how.  I was pleased to see her ready to take the initiative and seeming excited with the prospect.  I was very supportive of her ideas and let her know (I really like the idea of  …, and … I think you have a really good plan for that…).  I’m not sure where that fits in a helping interview, but I suppose it could be considered sharing or taking sides.  However, I was being honest and felt that her ideas were right in line with what she wanted to achieve.

EVALUATION OF PERSONAL PROBLEM SOLVING MODEL

During this interview I tried to remain very aware of my four steps of the problem solving model.   In following it, however, I gave myself permission to backtrack if I felt it necessary.  When I did this, I was always aware of what the next step was supposed to be and didn’t allow myself to get bogged down in the process.  I felt that even when we did revert, that I was familiar with and constantly aware of the next step.  Because of this I was able to follow it through with confidence. (Much more could probably have been written to evaluate the problem solving model.)

RECOMMENDATIONS FOR FOLLOWING PROBLEM SOLVING MODEL

I am now satisfied with my use of the problem solving model.  It has four sequential steps, each needing to be completed before going on to the next.  I have found that if new information comes up which leaves one step incomplete, I am now comfortable in going back, dealing with the issue, and getting back on track.

Knowledge of these steps and what we are trying to achieve in each makes the problem solving interview a much easier process to follow.  I no longer jump straight to problem solving and action steps with my advising, but let the clients come up with their own decisions and alternatives, giving them ownership and
making it more likely that they will follow through.  I am satisfied that my personal problem solving model will continue to work for me.
 
 

COMMUNICATION SKILLS

The following table summarizes the communication skills used in the transcript excerpt.
 

Communication skill	Number of times used	Statement # in transcript
Paraphrasing to summarize	7	14,32,34,58,72,74,76
Probing for background info.	6	22,24,38,46,66,68
Acknowledging/Attending	5	28,36,60,62,70
Paraphrasing to clarify info.	4	20,40,42,44
Basic Empathy	3	16,26,32
Advanced Empathy	1	18
Interrupting	1	30
Sharing	1	64

MAJOR SKILLS USED

Paraphrasing

I tend to use paraphrasing in a couple of major ways.  The first is as reflecting, in summarizing the content  of what has been said, making sure I have understood correctly and either carrying the conversation forward or leading to transition.
“So what kind of options do you have then.  If you look at the issue, you’ve got people who … one person who is carrying more load than the others, but they are all there at the same time …”
“You’ve got people who are late.  You’ve already decided that you will start monitoring in writing”
 
 

The other way in which I use paraphrasing is to ask for verification and clarify meaning of what has been said.
“…and so you think they will never learn…that you keep going over the same things over and over again”
“…so the training is not mandatory”
  While I note that I have used paraphrasing extensively, I have broken it down in the table to show these two different areas.  I have found that my use of paraphrasing is more often in the area of summarizing, usually in the problem-solving mode.

In evaluating my use of paraphrasing in general, I am satisfied with my ability to use this form of summarization and clarification.  I think in doing so, it not only confirms what I am hearing, but also lets the speaker know that I am indeed listening carefully, and ensures that any misunderstandings are cleared up.  I find that it also keeps me in line so that I can keep track of what has been covered and where we are headed.  I have no further recommendations on my use of paraphrasing.  I will continue to use it as comes naturally.

Probing

I used probing quite frequently in looking for background information.  This allowed me to get specific details about the situation, helped to elaborate what had been said and made sure I was interpreting the conversation correctly.  I did, however, seem to lean more towards the closed questions which can inhibit information gathering.
 “Are these things that are specific to one position, or are they sort of team efforts?”
 “So do you find that they are not even trying to deal with it with each other?”
 “Do they have any sort of training in between to keep them learning …?”
These questions either looked for a yes/no or a choice for an answer and did not require Anne to expand and give me further information.

I did on occasion use open-ended questions and was happier with the results achieved with these.
 “What kind of socialization or training do they have?”
 “…how do you distribute the workload then so that one person gets that much more …?”
While these were not as frequent as my closed questions, I often made the mistake of trying to explain myself and adding a closed question at the closing of my statement.
“What kind of socialization or training do they have?  They’ve been here for a long time and are used to it being one way.  Do they have any sort of training in between to keep them learning…”
In reading my transcript, I was not very pleased with my probing skills this time.  I have always thought that I was good at asking this kind of question to get information.  This is something in trained in for behaviour interviewing so I felt it was one of my strengths.  However, I am now aware that while the speaker is giving me the information I am looking for, it is not a result of my questioning.  Most of my probes appear to be closed, leaving room for an uncooperative person to give simple or one-word answers without really giving me any more information than I already have.

In future, in using my probes I will be more conscious of how I word a question and make attempts to have more open-ended questions.

Acknowledging/Attending

I always feel it is important, especially during a long monologue, that the person you are speaking to knows that you are following what they are saying.  They need to know that you are indeed listening to them, and not lost somewhere in your shopping list.  Acknowledging and attending is very important to this.  This includes comments such as “uh huh”, the tone of voice and non-verbal communication such as facial expression and hand gestures.

I did follow Egan’s SOLER.  Having read that chapter, I am now acutely aware of my posture, eye-contact and relaxation.  I did a few acknowledging sounds so that Anne knew I was following her, and I know that my tone and facial expressions, especially when she was making her medical revelations, let her know that I was indeed following her and feeling for her.    On a couple of occasions, I did agree with her in my attending.  That could be interpreted by some as taking sides, but I knew that Anne took it to mean that I was understanding her point of view.

I am satisfied with my attending skills.  My only recommendation for change would be to try to avoid the sympathizing gestures.  In discussing her medical problems, I felt I could relate to some of them and am certain that my expression indicated sympathy more than empathy – as I said earlier, I was feeling for her.  While this is good for being able to put myself in her shoes and seeing the problem from her side, it can cause the listener to take sides and potentially poison the conversation.

Basic and Advanced Empathy

 I do use what I consider empathic responses quite often.  While I do not follow the formula of “you are feeling ______ because ________”  I believe that my comments lead to the same understanding of feelings and content.

“But you are sort of feeling right now that you have enough to take care of in your life and you would like them to help to take control of and deal with the things they can …”
“…That must be really frustrating to have to deal with everyone’s problems all the time …”
“…so you end up feeling responsible for everyone else’s work on top of your own…”

I am not as integrated in the use of advanced empathy, and to put it in practice felt awkward.  In fact I can only identify one area where I used it, and this was an intentional attempt which came across sounding awkward on the tape.  I was making my basic empathy statement, while at the same time trying to word my hunch in such a way that Anne would understand what I was getting at.  In the end, I paused after the basic statement, so that she interjected with her attending.  I felt that she knew what I was trying to do and that made the attempt feel even more awkward.

In the end the exchange went like this:
“But you are sort of feeling right now that you have enough to take care of in your life and you would like them to help to take control and deal with the things they can ….”
Anne:  “Yeah”
“Have you looked at how you have been dealing with the people and getting them to take responsibility for it?”

My hunch was that Anne assumes responsibility  because she feels that it is easier to do it herself and knows it will be done properly.  I felt that she thought it would take more effort to try to explain and let someone else handle “emergencies” and that she did not trust them to achieve the results she wanted.  In fact Anne has high expectations, and this result was very possible.   I wanted Anne to see that she could delegate and that she would have to empower them to help them own the responsibility.  I am not sure that my use of advanced empathy was useful here.

As a recommendation, I will try to continue with my genuine empathy statements which seem to occur more naturally.  I will have to practice on the advanced empathy.  Just becoming aware of the hunches is a start.  Many thoughts occur during a conversation, so it is imperative to determine which hunch is more accurate and should be followed up.  I know I need a lot of practice in this before I reach the integrated stage.  I feel that even though I may appear awkward, it does not hurt to try to use this technique more often.

Other Skills

Another skill I made use of during this interview was sharing.  I felt that on a couple of occasions, when Anne was appearing to become distressed, that I should let her know I understood how she felt.  Anne seems to be a very strong person, and when she started to become emotional she was very good at coming to grips with it.  I wanted to let her know that it didn’t worry me if she got teary.  In fact, this is one of my major personal faults – I am over-emotional and I have several issues that I have not had time to deal with which still cause me to lose control.  I experienced one of those feelings the day before in class, and reminded Anne that it is something that happens to all of us.  I wanted her to feel completely at ease with me.

On this occasion I also broke into my advice-giving mode.  I watched myself very carefully during the conversation to avoid this, however I did fall into it on a couple of occasions.  I am pleased with my ability to hold back through most of the discussion.  I feel that my awareness from our first transcript experience helped me to limit this.

On one occasion I also caught myself actually interrupting Anne and trying to finish her sentence.  How rude of me!  I realize this is a major fault and one that I really do try to watch.  It still seems to come naturally to me and I will make every effort to hold back in the future.

EVALUATION OF COMMUNICATION SKILLS

Overall, I am satisfied with my communication skills.  I have found different uses for paraphrasing and find them most effective in for summarization in the problem-solving and transition mode, and for clarifying my understanding of what has been said.

My probing skills need to be refined.  I am aware of the need for open-ended questions to keep conversations moving and to gain more insight.  I do see the need for closed questions sometimes, however I tend to use them too often.  Luckily, with Anne, this did not inhibit the conversation.  I can see how with someone else, a teenager for example, may simply answer the questions without offering any further information.

I believe I am very effective in my attending skills and am satisfied with my use of these.

I am happy with my use of basic empathy.  I feel that even though I do not use the formula, my natural comments tend to be empathic and demonstrate an understanding of what I believe the person is feeling.  My use of advanced empathy was rare (only once) and very stilted, however it is a new concept to me and will take time to refine.

I was pleased that I did not do much advising.  I was rude in interrupting and finishing Anne thought – I should have been patient and let her think her way through what she was trying to say.  As for the sharing, I felt it was appropriate where used, but not something I could see myself doing often.

RECOMMENDATIONS FOR COMMUNICATION SKILLS

In considering the above evaluation, I have no recommendations for changing my paraphrasing.  I will continue to use this to clarify my understanding and help summarize situations.  My probing skills definitely need work.  I can see that I do not make enough use of open-ended questions.  I will try to be more aware in my probing and catch myself before I ask the closed questions.  I will try to keep my wording in such a way that draws out more information.  I can see practicing this on my children to become more natural at it.

I have no recommendations for change in my attending skills.  I felt that I was very there during these discussions.  I will, however, try to be more aware of listening and not trying to do too much at once in my personal life when I am not in a controlled situation such as this one.  I will continue to control my desire to advise and interrupt.

I am happy with my empathy skills, however I will attempt to put into practice the advanced empathy so that I am more aware of my hunches and the impact they may have on opening conversations and blind spots.

CONCLUSION

I found this course to be very enlightening.  I see the value in having a problem-solving model for helping conversations, and have now defined one that I feel can really work for me.   Just being aware of it helps with the flow and prevents me from leaping to advising and action taking.  I understand the need for the client to take ownership of the problem, the alternatives and the action steps.  The model allows me to follow through with this and simply help them along.

I was satisfied with my use of communications skills, and my eyes have been opened to the areas that need improvement.  I think a refresher course on this would be valuable to everyone I know.

I realize some practice is required in certain areas, particularly with my probing skills and advanced empathy.  I understand that advice giving and interrupting can inhibit conversations, and realize that closed questions can be just as detrimental.  I will be taking this awareness with me wherever I go and try to apply what I have learned.